Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
