I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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