We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
