I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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