Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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