she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
