drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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