marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
