kristin has been a bad kristin
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Welp...herpes.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
