How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize