she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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