After last night, I could never be a politician.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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