All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You just made me feel so damn special
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize