did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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