Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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