We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
