You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
