We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
