what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
