and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I have post one night stand depression
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
