he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize