it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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