i love accidental penises.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize