Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
