I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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