Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
