you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
