why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
