Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
