she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize