Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize
