So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
