Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
