Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
