Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She even gives head with a lisp.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
