Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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