I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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