i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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