sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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