Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
