Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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