went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
