Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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