Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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