i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
