so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
