sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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