Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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