she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
