We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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