Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
