Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
