Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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