Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
