The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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