you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
