Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
