it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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